euphoria and reality

I'm currently reflecting on a week at New Wine - a christian festival held at at the Bath and West showground in Shepton Mallet.

It was a bizarre mixture of emotions for me. I've been several times before, and found much of what goes on very helpful. (Some of it wasn't - I don't understand the whole alter-call thing; the session on homosexuality was very odd, and misleading; maybe I'll blog about these in due course.) There is a lot of emphasis on wholeness, and becoming the 'person God designed you to be' and all that stuff, which can't be bad. There is also a lot of euphoria - some refer to it as a 'mountain-top experience', I guess an allusion to the transfiguration scene in the bible. More caravans though. I have never been able to fully engage in the euphoria - not sober anyway! My reflection (aided by my wife, and some good friends in the Highbury Vaults) has led me to conclude that a lot of what I was feeling was anger, borne from my frustration at the fact that there was something missing - an element of reality perhaps?

One event in particular, which highlighted for me the gap between euphoria and reality happened while I was in one of the car parks, oddly enough. I'd had to carry a flat airbed to the car so that I could blow it up from the fag lighter compressor thingy. While I was sat there, I could hear a racket coming from one of the tents by the perimiter fence - a couple were in the throws of a bitter argument. The result was that she'd shouted to her husband/partner/whatever that he was a lazy ******d, that he could keep the ****ing kids, and that she was leaving him for good. I then saw her emerge from the tent, with 2 packed bags, and run off in floods of bitter, but resolute tears. In the background I could hear extravagent and euphoric worship music blaring from one of the stages. That was my 'God moment', there and then. All I could do was pray - and the only way I could pray was to replay what I'd seen and heard in my mind, hoping God could hear me above the noise from 'venue 1'. It was a strange experience, followed by a deeply thoughtful walk back to our encampment, trying to unpack what I'd just witnessed. I was reminded of the time when my mother made a similar departure from a christian retreat in Norfolk.

Also, Someone actually looked at me carrying the newly inflated airbed back to the tent, chuckled, and said "take up thy bed and walk", which was just plain wierd.

However, the camping was great, superb weather, cold beer, bbq, etc. We went with another family who we get on with very well. It has to be said that the kids work at New Wine is just superb too. Ours had the best time. Song of the week was "Shackles" by Mary Mary!